I am Stuck! I’m Not What I am. I Knew It..

It’s 5.56am. Wondering why im still awake..  Juz finish a burger, watching sum of my dl shows. My mind was not blank. Tat’s one of the reason tat i’m still awake at dis time. Today it’s the 8 day.. ya, i’m still waiting his call. How silly am i? But i had decided to do it, i have to noe wat’s happening to us. I don wanna the same mistake happen to me again! the possibility could be 50%/50%. I don wan to confused again.. stop guessing & face the truth.. Now i had realised tat how coward am i last time… I ruined everything in the end. I did nothing when everythings goin so far away from me, and i took tat as an excuses for me to keep silence. And now i finally knew tat i’m a coward all tat time. I refused to face the truth. I refused the pain.. I refused everything tat i thought will have the possibility to break my heart to pieces,. im not anti! but, im defending….

David Tao’s song kept playing in my mind. "Bu Ai"?? Don’t love. Don love, the love tat not belong to you? Juz don’t love, when u noe it’s not worth to.. Don’t love, juz turn around and leave. Alone, pushing all the memories backwards. Don’t love, letting go our futures.. Everything’s not cuming back til we finally awake. Don’t love, leave without breaking the silence. Alone, let the lonliness kept hunting me. Don’t love, but prefered to be loved.. I love you forever, was the words tat could not be said to you. Don’t love, juz turn around and leave. Alone, I had learned to be strong. Don’t love, but prefered to be loved.. I love you forever, and leave with a smile.. I love you forever, and i will let go..

I knew it’s hard to letting go, but wat i could understand from the song is don’t love, because we knew we can’t. Don’t love, when you know it’s not worth to.. Is it wat he meant in dis song?? It depands on everyone how you see it… 

umm… can’t believe i started a blog! Damn~ recently i becum weirder n weirder adi, can’t imagine wat will happen next. Haiz~  My life! Wat a MESS! Getting tougher n tougher.. wanna change, but can’t. Beside of study, im working. Ya beside of work, i did nothing. I wanna more!! I noe there’s still alot of things that i could do. But now im wasting my damn time in damn things tat i have done. Gosh!!  I’m sucks.. i knew it.. before u decide to tell me.